(Source: thatkitchen)
Man is measured according to his two little organs – his heart and his tongue – so that when he fights, he should do so with a firm heart, and when he speaks, he should do so with eloquence.
Imam Ali (as)
(Source: artofeloquence)
This may be one of the most important posts you will ever read: [& this is a reminder to ME above everyone else]
Haters gonna hate.
“So let my enemies say what they will, for my sins are many, and perhaps because of their backbiting and slander my sins will be lightened and instead fall upon their shoulders.” - Sheikh Muqbil bin Haddee
When someone back bites about you - it can be something true or it can be a lie - on the day of judgment you may be able to take their rewards and because of their back biting you may give them your sins.
It hurts when people talk smack behind your backs. And if you come from the desi community, everyone has said something bad about you. The aunties who will comment on your clothes or the way you looked at a boy. A classmate might just say hi and the aunt sees and makes sure to call you mom and tell her that you’re going to run away with a white boy and you’re having his baby. Yep. It hurts even more when friends do it. It sucks when it’s a lie: *small digression* I once heard a rumor about me when I wasn’t a hijabi that I took a brush to school and brushed my hair in the middle of the hall outside this boy’s classroom.… and I just couldn’t stop laughing when I heard the rumor because it was so ridiculous and stupid.
Sometimes we feel disheartened when people talk about us. Sometimes the things they say may be true. Sometimes they’re assumptions. Sometimes they’re exaggerations. I had a brother once tell me that all the girls in his school think he’s uptight and strict because he never says hello to them. But in reality when he is with the brothers he’s goofing off all the time. But this brother was very upset by the girls of the school thinking of him in that way because some of them even stopped going to MSA until after he left. In reality - those are just rumors right? And yes they hurt. But think about how many sins Allah is alleviating because of these rumors.
“Thieves that steal my honour in their lying speech, are stealing from their own good deeds, and giving it to me.”- Kashmir Maryam.
Don’t feel horrible because of your reputation. Heck, when I started wearing hijab full time people said I’m a whore in disguise. Literally, those were the exact words they used. That it’s all a facade. And man it hurt. And to this day it hurts. When I became more interested in MSA after becoming a hijabi people went around saying I’m doing it for a guy? People said it was just temporary phase of religiosity..
But you have to remember that what people say about you doesn’t make you who you are.
Don’t worry about your reputation. Worry about your character. If your character is good - you’re reputation won’t matter. No matter how “good” you are, people will always find something to talk about. Something in your past they’ll dig it up. So why bother?
Worry about making Allah happy - be good to family, be good to friends, be good to neighbors. And when they slap you, you’re supposed to turn the other cheek. Let them do what they want to do - you focus on YOU.
——-
On a side note: all of this works vice versa. As in - you shouldn’t be backbiting. I shouldn’t be back biting. Every time I backbite, I’m eating my brothers flesh. I shouldn’t do that.
& The Prophet said: “Beware of Gheebah (backbiting), indeed backbiting is worse than Zina (fornication and/or adultery); a person may commit Zina and Allaah accepts his repentance, but Allaah does not forgive the backbiting until the person whom he backbit forgives him.” (This is a hadith but it is weak so Allahu Allam) - either way, Gheebah is pretty bad. Or else there wouldn’t be so many hadiths denouncing it!
[& Again, this serves as a reminder to me. I can’t be giving you guys advice on not doing Gheebah when I myself do it. Astagfirullah. Make dua for me so that I may be better insha Allah]
